Jurassic Park

Jurassic World will be out on DVD in just a few days, and what better way to watch it than while getting drunk, or go back and watch the original trilogy while you're at it!

A raptor is a clever

Malcom spouts a one-liner

Grant is fascinated by something either boring or terrifying

Clear foreshadowing (drink two)

The scheming villain gets eaten (finish your drink)

The main protagonist, who had previously had trouble relating to children, forms a bond with a kid

Muldoon/Roland/Owen is a total badass

Billy is a fucking idiot

A lucky pack saves someone’s life (drink five)

InGen pulls some shady shit

An awesome dinosaur fight (drink one for every dino)

Grant starts explaining something about dinosaurs

A T-Rex roars

A protagonist from the first film ends up on Isla Sorna for a convoluted reason (drink three)

A cameo by a character from the first film who won’t be going to the island again (drink four)

The Jurassic Park theme

A supporting character’s seemingly unrelated skill mentioned earlier saves the day (drink three)

A quiet and sad scene with two characters talking (drink three)

A very large dinosaur somehow sneaks up on someone (drink two)

Nick van Owen is a dick

“Spared no expense”

A kid’s divorced parents are mentioned (drink two)

A huge scream

Clair does something really brave and awesome, particularly for someone in heels

If you are actually watching the third one for some reason finish your drink during the scene where Grant dreams about a goddamn talking raptor

And finally when someone says “Run” (drink four)

See ya next time...